A post on parenting

I'm not exactly sure where to start this post, but I've been super reflective lately. Maybe it's my baby's first birthday that is just around the corner? I'm not really sure, but I've had this on my heart for a while, so I thought I'd better put the words to paper. Or, screen. You know what I mean. (see what I did there?)


Somewhere in the last year, since having my third baby, my perspective has shifted in regard to raising my children. I'm not exactly sure what to attribute it to. I honestly think it's been a great handful of things. But one thing is for sure. It's a work that's been done deep in my heart, and I am so grateful to the Lord for it. 

I think I can best summarize it by saying that I am deeply and richly enjoying this time with my kids. So much of my earlier years of parenting were spent just waiting for the next moment, the next phase, or waiting for the difficult times/phases to pass. 

Waiting for my first period after Molly was born so that we could have another baby. 
Waiting through my difficult pregnancy with Cooper so that he could be born and my body could feel back to normal.  
Clenching my teeth through the hellish adjustment we had from one to two kids, praying it would pass.
Waiting to buy a house.
Wishing our way through fixing up our house so we could just move in already. 
Learning about our sweet surprise baby and waiting through yet another pregnancy that challenged me so deeply to learn that God is bigger--even bigger than pregnancy. 

Then something sweet happened. Maggy Michelle was born, and for the first time ever, I relished that newborn stage. I didn't wish it away, because I knew--I absolutely, positively knew--how it would flash by in the blink of an eye. I wanted to be able to look back on that phase and think, "There's no way I could have cherished it any more than I did." And that is exactly how I feel.

If you're a parent, you have probably heard more times than you'd like to admit, "Enjoy these times, one day you will miss them," or something like that. There was a time when I would seriously roll my eyes at those statements. It was so annoying to me. Don't they remember what this is like? Obviously not! This is the hardest thing I've ever done! 

And ya know what? I don't know what it's like yet to be past the little years. Mine are presently 4, 2.5, and almost 1. It's crazy town, folks. But I have to think that if this is the overwhelming advice I get from people that are past my stage of parenting, that maybe there's something to it. 

And so I choose joy. I choose to relish these moments that are fleeting. The giggles over something silly. The lengthy eye-contact with them, because staring into someone's eyes is like seeing their soul. The repetition, no matter what it may be, because they find delight in such simple things. The holding 60 lbs worth of children on your hips, because someday (soon!) they'll be too big to hold on my hips. Life is made up of these little moments, these "in-the-gap" moments. I certainly don't want them to go by unnoticed, just waiting for the next thing.

Please don't read this and think that my life is perfect and I never struggle with my kids. Hang around for one day, and you will know it's the complete opposite. But I'm learning that life is a dance. A step forward, two steps back; two steps forward, one step back. And we will truly wish away our whole lives if we don't stop and live life right now, for all that it is. 

Maggy Michelle

Hello, blog! I have dreams of writing here more often, but I'm not sure this is the season for that. So for now, it will probably continue to be sporadic. :)

********************

For now, let me introduce to our latest addition, 

Maggy Michelle Davis! 

Born 9/11/14

8lbs, 21in

She is perfect in every way! Thank you, Lord for this blessing!

And for fun, a comparison of Molly (left) and Maggy (right) flashing the same beautiful smile. :)

On my heart: mothering.

*I know it's been  f o r e v e r  since I've written here. Life does that, I guess. If you want more up-to-date happenings on life, follow me on instagram here (@amydavis356). :) :)

I've had more than one person say to me in the last week alone something to the effect that I'm "the best parent ever", or their "parenting role model". And to be quite honest, even though I'd like to gloat and take some glory, it's really SO very much NOT about me. 

You see, I'm about the second most impatient person that I know. For real. 

I'm hot-headed, and sometimes I inappropriately display my anger in ways that should not be displayed in front of children (or really at all). 

I am an introvert and recharge by being by myself, which doesn't always mix well with being a stay-at-home mom, especially when the aforementioned children don't nap or don't nap well.

I could go on and on about all the reasons why I make an unfit mother. But the bottom line is this:

I am a work-in-progress, continually being changed and shaped by none other than my LORD Jesus Christ. 

When I am patient, it's because of HIM.

When I curb my anger and express love instead of hate, it's because of HIM.

When I'm able to rise above myself and my wants and play with my children when all I want to do is run in my room and be alone, it's because of HIM. 

I'm hoping that you're catching my drift.

So while I appreciate the "you're an awesome mom" comments (really, it's very encouraging), I just have to be sure that it's made known that I am only that mom because of who Jesus is in my life. 

I never want to give the allusion that I have it all together or that this whole parenting thing is easy for me. I want other moms out there who may be struggling to know that there is hope, and His name is JESUS.

Just this morning, it was barely 9am and I was in tears, wondering how in the world I was going to make it through the long day ahead. I fully recognize the raging pregnancy hormones that for sure take all things to the next level, haha, but still. 

My mind turned to this passage in Isaiah:

Do you not know? Have you not heard?The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.He gives strength to the weary,and increases the power of the weak.Even youths grow tired and weary,and young men stumble and fall;but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.They will soar on wings like eagles;they will run and not grow weary,they will walk and not be faint.*Isaiah 40:28-31*

And ya know what was right on that exact same page? 

He tends his flock like a shepherd:He gathers the lambs in his armsand carries them close to his heart;he gently leads those that have young.*Isaiah 40:11*

Such balm to my soul. Such refreshment. 

I am so thankful that He cares. That He loves my babies more than I do and that He has designed ME to be their mother. 

Baby, Baby, Baby - 16 weeks

*wasn't really thinking when I wore a white shirt against a white background, haha. Makes the teeny bump a little tough to see*

How far along: 17 weeks. (the picture was last week) 

Baby's size: Your baby weighs 5 ounces now (about as much as a turnip), and he's around 5 inches long. 

Sleep: Meh. Nothing to do with pregnancy, though. And everything to do with the two little people that end up with us every night. 

Maternity Clothes: I've started wearing my pants, but my belly isn't really big enough to hold them up all that well, haha.

Food cravings: None.

Food aversions: Nothing anymore.

Symptoms I have: Nothing. It's crazy--Aside from the occasional heartburn, I don't even feel pregnant.

Doctor’s Appointment: Just had one yesterday--healthy heartbeat of 150! We scheduled the ultrasound for three weeks from now! So excited!

Movement: Finally starting to feel the teeny kicks. I assumed that since I felt Cooper so early on, that I'd feel this one early too. That was SO not the case! It honestly wasn't until last week that I was certain I was feeling baby. But yah for those tiny kicks! :)

Gender: Pretty sure it's a girl, but we'll find out in three weeks!

What I miss: Nothing! 

What I’m looking forward to: So much. Obviously so excited to find out the gender. I can't wait to start making the baby blanket! I already have the pattern/colors picked out for whether it's a boy or girl. :)

A few IG pics relating to baby #3….

*15 weeks*

*I started knitting a sweater for the little babe because I just couldn't wait another second! It's gender neutral though.* :)

You are not alone.

*a little humor for a not-so-humorous post.*

Some days are difficult. Like, really difficult.

Most days I'm excited about a third child.

On days like today, I'm completely and utterly terrified.

Driving home today after a rough morning of running errands, I saw a sign somehow through my tears that I had never seen before. 
I think it was an ad for the Army? Not sure. But here's what it said:

We don't take applications. 
Only commitment.

And good golly, that resonated quite soundly. 

You see, if I had to submit an application to be a mother, I would most certainly NOT get the job. By my own natural tendencies, I am a downright terrible mother. 

It's funny*, because I've dreamt of being a mom for my entire life. Somewhere in all that dreaminess, I just kind of assumed it would come naturally to me. Newsflash in case I've been fooling any of you: IT DOESN'T. 

*I chuckle only to keep myself from crying more tears--it's just so far from the truth. 

BUT. While my application would for sure be denied, one thing is even more certain: I am committed. 

First and foremost, I am committed to the Lord and allowing Him to change me. 

Second, I am committed to these children and becoming the very best mom that I can be to them. I realize this does not and will never mean perfection. But for me, the best that I can be entails surrendering my natural tendencies to the Lord and begging Him to change me and make me more like Him. 

I texted a friend when I got home (which is a rare thing for me when I need help) because I just felt so alone in this and needed to know if I was the only one who struggled. Guess what? I'm not. 

Sometimes it's easy to get tunnel vision and only see our own difficulties and along with that, it's so dang easy to believe the lie that noone else knows what we're going through.

I put all this out there as a simple message to others who may be feeling the same: 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. 

If you're struggling as a new mom, experienced mom, young mom, older mom, mom of one, mom of twenty, working mom or stay at home mom, you are not alone. 

We were made to live in community, support each other, encourage each other, and spur one another on in our callings and commitments. Maybe many of you have already learned this. Maybe not. I just know I feel led to share. 

Be encouraged, fellow mamas. No matter where you are on your journey, the Lord wants to use you and teach you and make you more like Him. And do not forget that you are not alone. :)

Jehovah Jirah

I just have to give the Lord the praise and glory He deserves.

A little backstory...

This year will be filled with all sorts of big expenses--some of which we were expecting, some of which we weren't. Some days I do better than others when it comes to surrounding my worries to Him and trusting His word when He says:

"So do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do no worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." 

(Matthew 6:31-34)

These past few days, my mind has been filled with thoughts of how all of these upcoming expenses will be paid for. And God has been so patient with me, pointing out time after time where He has taken care of us in the past. 

Isn't that so silly? I see His constant provision in the past, yet I still sometimes question and doubt how He will take care of in the future! So silly. I know better. 

This morning, Chris received some amazing news from his employer. He's asked me to spare the details, but after my initial shock, my eyes welled with tears as I knew this was God speaking.

Jehovah Jirah. The Lord provides.  

I'm certain that this news will not cover everything coming at us this year, but to me, it is such a clear sign of God saying,

"I've got you guys under the shadow of my wing. Please trust me."

***********

Lord of Lords - Hillsong ft. Brooke Fraser

Beholding Your beauty
Is all that I long for
To worship You Jesus
Is my sole desire
For this very heart
You have shaped for Your pleasure
Purposed to lift Your Name higher

Here in surrender
In pure adoration
I enter Your courts
With an offering of praise
I am Your servant
Come to bring You glory
As is fit for the work of Your hands

Now unto the Lamb
Who sits on the throne
Be glory and honour and praise
All of creation resounds with the song
Worship and praise Him
The Lord of lords

Spirit now living
And dwelling within me
Keep my eyes fixed
Ever on Jesus' face
Let not the things of this world
Ever sway me
I'll run 'til I finish the race

Now unto the Lamb
Who sits on the throne
Be glory and honour and praise
All of eternity echoes the song
Worship and praise Him
The Lord of lords

Holy Lord
You are holy
Jesus Christ
Is the Lord

Now unto the Lamb
Who sits on the throne
Be glory and honour and praise
Call all the saints to join in the song
Worship and praise Him
The Lord of lords

Cooper's Birthday Vest

When Molly was born, I had the idea to make a pillowcase to take to the hospital (add some spunk to the hospital room, know what I mean?) and then use that pillowcase to make an outfit for her first birthday. 

You can see pictures here of Molly's dress.

It was a little more difficult to pick the fabric for my pillowcase when Cooper was born, knowing that boy's outfits are slightly more difficult than a girl's dress.

Here's the best shot of the pillowcase in use. 

(Note: best shot of the pillowcase, NOT myself, HAHA)

And here is what I made of it for Cooper's first birthday party. 

I'm pretty excited about how it turned out, and love that I was able to keep this tradition for both kids! :)