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On my heart

Roseola. Molly had it when she was 14 months old, and now my sweet almost 9 month old baby has it. Not a huge deal, but enough to keep us home from church so that the other babies don't get it.

So I sit here with my coffee and the Word in front of me and listening to the rain fall (or maybe that's just the puddle underneath the gutter). Either way, it's peaceful. And my heart is full. Missing my church family, for sure, but God is here. 

As I try to settle my mind, I can't help but think about all the things I want to be involved in right now. My mind literally races. All of things that I want to be doing. All the people I want to see. 

And for some reason, I let guilt overtake me that I'm not doing these things. I could do better at this, do better at that. And who's looking at me wondering why I don't do this or that? And why do I even care? Maybe I should just quit everything and start at square one? 

Or maybe I should just allow myself to be released from feeling like I need to do it all. And just be.

Just live and love and follow my Jesus. 

My son, do not forget my teaching, 
but keep my commands in your heart, 
for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you prosperity.
Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and man.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:1-6