You are not alone.

*a little humor for a not-so-humorous post.*

Some days are difficult. Like, really difficult.

Most days I'm excited about a third child.

On days like today, I'm completely and utterly terrified.

Driving home today after a rough morning of running errands, I saw a sign somehow through my tears that I had never seen before. 
I think it was an ad for the Army? Not sure. But here's what it said:

We don't take applications. 
Only commitment.

And good golly, that resonated quite soundly. 

You see, if I had to submit an application to be a mother, I would most certainly NOT get the job. By my own natural tendencies, I am a downright terrible mother. 

It's funny*, because I've dreamt of being a mom for my entire life. Somewhere in all that dreaminess, I just kind of assumed it would come naturally to me. Newsflash in case I've been fooling any of you: IT DOESN'T. 

*I chuckle only to keep myself from crying more tears--it's just so far from the truth. 

BUT. While my application would for sure be denied, one thing is even more certain: I am committed. 

First and foremost, I am committed to the Lord and allowing Him to change me. 

Second, I am committed to these children and becoming the very best mom that I can be to them. I realize this does not and will never mean perfection. But for me, the best that I can be entails surrendering my natural tendencies to the Lord and begging Him to change me and make me more like Him. 

I texted a friend when I got home (which is a rare thing for me when I need help) because I just felt so alone in this and needed to know if I was the only one who struggled. Guess what? I'm not. 

Sometimes it's easy to get tunnel vision and only see our own difficulties and along with that, it's so dang easy to believe the lie that noone else knows what we're going through.

I put all this out there as a simple message to others who may be feeling the same: 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. 

If you're struggling as a new mom, experienced mom, young mom, older mom, mom of one, mom of twenty, working mom or stay at home mom, you are not alone. 

We were made to live in community, support each other, encourage each other, and spur one another on in our callings and commitments. Maybe many of you have already learned this. Maybe not. I just know I feel led to share. 

Be encouraged, fellow mamas. No matter where you are on your journey, the Lord wants to use you and teach you and make you more like Him. And do not forget that you are not alone. :)