I have a choice.

This gig called motherhood is tough. 
There are days I don't think I can go another step. 
Days where I just want to run away. To crawl in a hole. 
Hide from everyone and all my responsibilities.
Days where all I can do is cry.
I love these babies with all my heart, 
but this is the raw honesty of it all.

However, these moments and days are making me realize that 

I have a choice.

I can choose to let the difficulties steal my joy. I can choose my humanness and let it take over my entire self. 

Or I can choose to let the Lord use this journey to shape me and mold me into who He wants me to be--more like Him. 

I can't help but think about mothers who are further into their journey than I, such as my own mom, my aunts, or others who have older children. Sometimes I just wonder what they were like at the beginning of their journey. 

 Not that these women are perfect now. And not that I think that there will ever be a point where I've arrived, so to speak.  

But I do desire to learn and be changed through this process.

My mom always used to tell me that children were a tool that God uses to make His children more like Him.

And boy, oh boy, am I finding that to be true. 


Every problem can teach you something, transforming you little by little into the masterpiece I created you to be. The very same problem can become a stumbling block over which you fall, if you react with distrust and defiance. The choice is up to you, and you will have to choose many times each day whether to trust Me or defy Me.
Sarah Young, Jesus Calling, March 5th


  1. thanks for sharing this. i loved journaling this same devo. motherhood is sure hard and yes it's def a stumbling block for being negative. but at least we have Christ to show us his mercy and grace and get us though the tough days. If we focus on seeking his face all the problems seem to fade away. praise God! found your blog through Lindsy at space for joy. your newest follower.. #60 woot woot.

    1. Hey girl! Thanks for stopping by. :) Yes, I am learning more and more that the very best thing to do is seek his face only! :)

  2. Amy, I know for myself, I had days just like you. There were days where is was all joy and giggles, there were days of all tears. Now that I am one of those "older" moms, I look back and wish I could go back to the days where it was joy, especially now that I have one about to graduate. :) However, I learned, when my kids were toddlers, that on those really tough days, it is OK to throw in some worship music, focus on our heavenly Father, and just enjoy the kids. Dishes, vacuuming, dusting, and laundry can wait, that stuff will always be there. Sometimes just letting everything else go, and changing my focus from all the chaos, (and with 2 boys there was a lot of chaos lol), and focus on fun things with my boys, and worshipping with them, my whole day changed. Sometimes my greatest memories came from those days. Motherhood isn't always easy, but it is always worth it :) You are a great mom and I love seeing you in church with your family. Love ya! ~~Angie Laird