Ok, so technically, Saturday is the "due date". But Thursday night? I'm rounding up. Because I certainly feel every bit of 40 weeks pregnant.
The last 24 hours have been somewhat of an emotional roller coaster, and quite honestly, I feel like I owe it to the Lord to share His goodness. So bear with me, this is long. :)
To recap, the last few weeks, I've been doing really well. I've felt pretty good physically, and after Christmas being so relaxing, it's been really nice to just soak up the time with just me and my little girl.
But last night, I think everything started compiling and I hit my breaking point. Maybe it was because of night number two of false labor. Maybe it was seeing yet another person that was due right around the same time as me have their baby. Maybe it was the fact that Molly wouldn't fall asleep and ended up sideways in our bed kicking me in the back. Or maybe it was yet another night of extreme hip pain, causing me to just get up because it's not worth trying to fall back asleep.
Sound like I'm complaining? So sorry. I'm merely doing my best to explain that why my switch flipped.
Driving to my 40 week appointment this morning, all I could do was cry. Not good when there are no tissues or even napkins in the car. AND you see a dead cat in the middle of the highway. *cue sobbing!* Bottom line: I have been wanting to avoid an induction, and I knew today would be the day we'd set the date.
Before going in, I cried out to the Lord. I'm not really even sure what I said, but I needed encouragement.
I needed His strength to keep going.
It was a great appointment. An answer to prayer. The doctor said we didn't even have to schedule an induction yet, but she would go ahead and see me next week (41 weeks) and we'd go from there. I seriously could hardly believe it.
Although now looking back, I'm shaking my head. That's just the way He works, isn't it?
Over the next few hours as Molly and I walked every square inch of the mall, I continued to be blown away by His goodness and faithfulness as friends and family called and texted me encouraging words, not even knowing the evening/morning I'd had. If you were one of them--thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you. The Lord used each one of you to speak truth to me.
Ya know? As I think back to right before Molly was born, it was a heart issue. I read a wonderful post by Casey on open hands (here--especially love the quote at the bottom), as well as an incredible post by Leslie (which I cannot find for the life of me right now!) But I knew that was exactly what I needed. To have open hands about the birth of my daughter and let the Lord work in my heart however He pleased.
And about three days later she was born.
I'm not really quite sure what it is this time around. I do have open hands. I do. I desire nothing more than for God to receive the glory through the birth of my son. I'm not exactly sure how that will look, and quite frankly, that's somewhat terrifying to think about. But I just know that is how I am praying and it is the deepest desire of my heart.
Phew. This has been long. If you've made it this far, stop on over and I'll make you some cookies. Or brew you some coffee. Seriously.
Or perhaps just say a prayer, if you wouldn't mind.
A prayer for me to continue to trust the Lord with His timing.
A prayer for my son that he would continue to grow healthy and strong.
A prayer for my dear husband, as he puts up with my insane hormonal requests and attitudes. :)
And of course, a prayer for my sweet little Molly, as her world is about to be changed forever by getting the gift of a sibling. :)