Heart talk.

Do ya'll ever talk to yourself?

I do. A lot, in fact. 

I was just sitting here on my couch, working on little boy's blanket as my sweet little girl is snoozing, and spewing my thoughts out to myself. (Or whoever else is sitting on the couch listening. Zoe? Haha) 

And then I thought, oh, this could be a blog post. Oh, and we have internet now. Sa-weet!!!

So. Ahem. I'm rolling up my sleeves, seeing if I can remember how to properly put my thoughts on "paper". Bear with me.

*Pause to feel sweet little boy kicking. bestillmyheart.

*A second pause to put diapers in the dryer.

See what happens when I take too long of a blogging break? I share way too much. 

And now that I've babbled so much before even getting to my original thoughts which are inspiring this post (!), I'll give you a sweet picture to hopefully keep you going. If you so desire.

photo by who else, my dear Chelsie. From Molly's one year shoot. 
I'll share more later.

Now where was I? 

Ahh. Thinking about having two children. 

There seems to be this thing. This vibe, feeling, unspoken whatever-it-is, that having two kids--especially so close in age--is pure craziness. Madness. All you can do is go into survival mode. Freak Out. Blah blah blah blah. Anyone heard that, or maybe even feel that way? 

Well I have yet to feel any anxiety or nervousness. I mean, yeah, there's the slight fear of the unknown, but it would be like that no matter how old Molly is. 

Before I get any further, I have to say, PLEASE don't tell me "You just wait." I have no choice but to wait, and I will learn what it's like in my own time. 
(shudder. nothing irks me more)

Moving on. 

I'm sure that there will be difficult times. There are difficult times right now, with one child. There were difficult times in my life before I had a kid. Days where I either wanted to rip my hair out or just sit and cry for hours. This is a part of life. 

I guess I just don't want to focus so much on the negativity and the difficult-ness of having two that it takes away from the joy. 

Right now, I am SO beyond excited for this little boy to come. I am so excited to meet him, to see his face. To hold him close and snuggle him. To kiss his sweet face. 

To see how Molly interacts with him. To see her kiss his sweet little face. To see her hold him. To see her evolve into her big sister role. 

I'm excited to see how Chris acts as a second time father. He's seen the baby stuff now. He kinda knows the drill so-to-speak. I'm excited to see how he connects with his son. To see them bond. 

So maybe I'm living in LaLa Land about all of this, but I'd rather think that I'm choosing to focus on the positives. 


And as with most of my on my heart type posts, I don't proofread. Otherwise I'll second guess too much of what I'm writing and it won't be as much on my heart, ya know? 

Love you all, and if you made it this far, huge props to you. I guess you deserve another picture :) :)


  1. You could have walked right into my heart, seen what was there, and written it down. I'm 38 weeks pregnant and expecting our little person any day and am pretty fed up to the gills with people telling me how crazy I am/tough it's going to be. As if there is anything you can do at this point anyway.
    Besides I'm the sort of person who tends to see the positive in things. Yes, it might be tough. Yes, I might be crazy. But, like you say, I think those thing are true whenever you have baby number two. I personally can't see much difference between babies 18 months apart (as mine will be) and 2 years apart, or 2 and a half. It's hardly like a 2 year old is so independent. And I think there is a lot to be said for still being in that baby zone, we've not really had a chance to get used to the changes an older baby brings, so the newborn phase still seems really familiar.
    I do have one very lovely friend, who I like to think tells it like it is. Her second baby is 10 weeks old and she says that while it's tricky to juggle the needs of two at times, it is most definitely not twice the work. And she says that it is more than twice the joy. The joy of your first born, the joy of your second born, and the joy of seeing them together. X

  2. love those pictures!!!

    I'm so excited for you! is his name a secret??

    Also, you are right, 2 kids has it's challenges like anything else, but my goodness it is so FULL of joy. :) You are a great mama :)

  3. A to the men!!! Best open heart post I've read and oh so true.