rain and deserts

It's a rainy day. Mom used to always sing a song on rainy days:

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down….

*the carpenters*

 

But it's Tuesday. Tuesday and rainy. For the last six months or so that Chris and I have been eating more fruits and veggies, everytime it rains Chris says it's making our food grow. Rain is good. Yes, good.

 

Our weekend in Ohio was fabulous. The wedding was beautiful and that's an understatement. I felt like my jaw was dropped the whole evening. And I didn't get any pictures worth posting. Bummer,  I know. But trust me, it was beautiful. *grin*

Here's a picture of my preggo friend, Lauren, who's 23 weeks along. Isn't she beautiful?

I feel like my mind and my heart are about to go on a whirlwind of a ride. Or maybe at least they should be. I got some unexpected news last night and I'm not quite sure when it's going to sink in. It's kind of funny because for the nine months or so, I've dealt with life a little differently than I ever have before. Normally, I'm an emotional wreck and those raindrops outside might as well be my tears. But this seems like more of a desert.

My mom said it's really great last night...God might not always deliver you from your trials, but He will always walk you through the valleys (and deserts).  So ya know? The desert is ok with me for now. 

 

just a week in mid-July

And the most amazing bowls ever. Anyone recognize these? My mom has these and I've always dreamed of owning some myself. Wouldn't you know, I found them at the thrift store Saturday. They were just sitting on the shelf! Marvelous!

Some new books...

Zoe's first t-shirt. "Major Attitude." So fitting for her. She was not too fond of it though. She kept trying to bite it then she'd get a hold of the arm and it'd make her fall over. It was sooo funny to watch!

Coworker Kimberly's wedding. She looked stunning. It was a beautiful, very touching wedding. I love wedding season!!! 

My very first watermelon cutting! Now I know why people always refer to watermelon as juicy. Talk about messy!

Delicious berries. So delightful :)

We're Ohio-bound tomorrow after work. Soooo excited for Jon and Kate's wedding. And of course seeing lots of wonderful friends. :)

G'night!

my princess

so the green pillow i made this weekend? zoe loves it. she has fallen asleep on it two days in a row. awww.... check out her ears! it's always like this, one up, one down. haha. she's special :)

happy hump day!

weekend projects

ya'll, i am so excited about how this table turned out. i wanted to paint it simply because i hated it and thought that at least a coat of paint would do. i didn't really take a proper before photo, since i had already taken the glass out and the knobs off, but here's the jist of what it was before:

and here it is after!!! i love love love it! i always thought i hated the knobs (well, handles, i guess) but i love them up against the black. and i simply covered the glass pieces with fabric from a skirt i got at the thrift store.

and i used the rest of the fabric to make this pillow. haha! it'll do for now. :) :)

five things

last night was fun. mother in law, brother in law, girlfriend of brother in law (lisa), husband and I all gathered at our humble abode for icecream cake (with whipped cream a n d ice cream, wow, i know) and some friendly euchre. lisa and i found out we have matching glasses, and jimmy's car wouldn't start because it was out of gas....it was a fun night!! *grin*

i found this on another site and thought it'd be fun, ok, well at least by my definition of fun. so here's my five things:
5 things under $5.00 that I couldn't live without:
*Starbucks Caramel Macchiato
*Coffee creamer
*stickers
*a little more than $5, but Broadway nails, for sure.
*my thrift store finds

5 favorite movies:
*The Guardian
*How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
*Hitch
*Lord of the Rings trilogy
*X-Men – Wolverine and all three…these are my new faves!

5 favorite baby names I love:
*Rylee
*Mathias
*Ashlynn
*Kiptynn
*Luci

5 songs I love:
*Brooke Fraser - Shadowfeet
*Before the Throne- don’t even know who sings it
*Colbie Caillat - Older
*James Morrison – Wonderful World
*Mark Schultz – He Will Carry Me

5 positive influences:
*my husband
*my family
*Kara Joy
*my worship music
*coffee shops

5 life changing moments:
*when I asked Jesus to come into my heart when I was 4
*moment slash time frame: when I started going to Marysville church.
*summer in between Junior and Senior year of college
*my wedding day, June 14th, 2008
*November 2nd, 2008

5 current obsessions:
*my new puppy, zoe
*blogging *grin*
*thinking of décor ideas for our new apartment
*packing/thinking of how we can downsize.
*is it too cliché if I say Jesus?

5 places I want to go:
*Some place with a turquoise ocean
*A super nice, tropical resort (probably includes the ocean from above)
*Europe- Italy, France again, Ireland…
*San Deigo- been once before, want to take Chris!
*Ohio...OH – IO!

5 appliances or kitchen tools I could not live without:
*blow dryer
*brita water filter
*coffee maker, for sure
*kitchen knives
*does the computer count as an appliance?

my body is crying, my heart is rejoicing.

*originally posted july 7th, 2009*

this is all i have eaten today. (read: one cupcake and two double chocolate cookies, not literally this adorable cookie monster cupcake, which could very well be my mascot for life *grin* )

this is all i’ve had to drink today. (read: grande toffee nut soy extra hot mocha no whip) (confession to husband- sorry i didn’t tell you.)i think my body is c r a v i n g that salad in the fridge, the apple on my desk, or perhaps the wholesome whole grain oatmeal that was meant for breakfast that i passed up for a cupcake in the breakroom. yeah, i think it’s time for that detox husband and i have been talking about for months now…

zoe's first shower

*originally posted july 1st, 2009*

a look of sheer terror….

water

*originally posted june 25th, 2009*

I’ve been reading a lot of other people’s blogs lately. And I’ve come to find something. I really like pictures. I like words a lot too, and have been incredibly blessed by many bloggers. But there’s just something about pictures! So I thought as I went to write today, that I would provide some interesting pictures for you to view. *grin*
Meet water bottle.

Water bottle and I were good friends for approximately a year and a half. Despite the fact that this was an indian gift, no, I indian gave, no…..I took this back from someone I had previously given it to as a gift. (hahaha), water bottle and I had a deep connection. I probably filled her up five or six times a day. She kept me rejunvinated. She kept me motivated to drink a lot of water. I guess the least I could have done was given her a bath….

trust. again?

*originally posted june 18th, 2009*

Why do I feel like so many of my posts are about trust? I guess it’s really been a theme of my life this past year or so. Learning to trust God no matter what the circumstances and know that He is way bigger than me and sees my life as a whole and has it all worked out! *easier said than done, huh?* I guess I won’t really go into any other details, but God is really teaching me to be reliant upon him.
So quick story….Chris was driving the Buick to the Y earlier this week and one of the front tires blew out. Ugh. Luckily he was close to my work, so he was able to take our Civic home. But then when he came back to pick me up and attempted to change the tire? Yeah, the jack broke. The car slammed to the ground. PTL he wasn’t underneath of it because he would have been crushed. We’re talking a ‘92 Buick LaSabre, American steel, people! I guess it’s kind of our fault. The tires were due to be replaced, oh, maybe a year ago?!?!?! Other than that (and the broken AC with summer fast approaching here), the car is in really great shape. But again, another way we’re trusting God to lead us.
Zoe seems to be so hit/miss with this potty thing. She pooped in her crate twice last night. Twice. On two separate occasions. How does that happen? And she cried last night. She’d been doing better since when we first got her (when she would cry for about 3 hours. Nonstop.) But I’ve kept quiet the last few nights and not commented on how well she’s doing. I didn’t want to jinx it, ya know? But I opened my mouth last night. I said how good she was doing. Then the crying began. Funny, right? UGH! I just have to keep telling myself what good training this is for a kid. Chris and I keep joking about taking Zoe back to Pam and Justin’s (the breeder). Haha. But you don’t really have that option with a kid, considering you are the breeder. *grin*
Well here’s another picture of the little stinker, just cuz she’s so stinkin cute.

meet zoe

*originally posted june 15th, 2009*

The latest addition to our family…Our one year anniversary gift to each other. As if we didn’t have enough change and growth in the first year, we brought this one on ourselves! Just kiddin…she’s a super fun puppy, full of energy but loves to cuddle. She’s totally a lap dog and if you take her off your lap and set her beside you, she’ll just crawl right back on. It’s so sweet. She’s done really well so far with strangers as well as other dogs, which I’m really happy about. Now the potty training and crate training…that’s all a different story. She seems to be so hit/miss with the whole potty thing. Like, two nights ago, she went potty for Chris every time he took her out, then last night she just peed in her crate. It’s frustrating, especially when we’ll take her out for like, 10 minutes, and then bring her in and within 2 minutes she’s peein on the floor! Ugh! But she is doing a lot better with crate training. The first few nights though were pretty rough. She’s got this high pitched whine/not quite a bark. Just like she’s letting us know that she’s not happy with the situation. She’s doing a lot better though, I mean, a lot. Last night I think she cried for maybe 15 minutes (if that!). I just have to keep telling myself, #1 she’s just a puppy (9 wks!), #2 this won’t last forever, and #3 it’ll be worth it in the end. *grin*
More later, I’d like to do a better job blogging more often. Not that anyone reads this…haha.

fresh ink

*originally posted june 2nd, 2009*

So here’s the explanation…. Background first: As far back as I can remember, I’ve been slightly terrified of the second coming of Christ. I’ve always said I want to get married, have kids, grow old and die peacefully, right?. The whole idea of the ‘rapture’ and horns blowing and funny looking angels…all that just freaks me out a little. I’ve often struggled with whether or not that is any type of indication of how much I love the Lord, but I’ve come to grips that no, it doesn’t. I still love Jesus with all of my heart. Let’s chalk it up to fear of the unknown. *grin*

So, several weeks ago at church, Lloyd was speaking on the part in 1 Thessalonians about the second coming–end of chapter four into chapter five. He drew this simple little diagram to show time and how Jesus came once (first arrow…already happened) and he will come again (second arrow…has yet to happen). And at that second arrow people will be divided for eternity- those who know Him, and those who do not. He then explained how there’s a lot of different beliefs about the end times and all that will surround Jesus’ second coming, yadda yadda yadda. But get this, Paul says to the Thessalonians, look, you already know all that you need to know. Sure, there’s many more details but the fact of the matter is, he’s coming back for ya’ll, and you can find hope and peace in that. There’s probably a lot more arrows and drawings and such that could be added to the diagram, but we need to most focused on the simplicity that he’s coming back for his people. And that, I could swallow.

So my tat. The actual diagram that Lloyd drew looked a little goofy on my arm, trust me, I tried. So I drew a modified version that looks a little prettier. The two arrows making the heart represent the first and second coming of Christ to serve as reminder to me that I can rest in Him and have peace about Him coming again. The word is hebrew for hope, which is a pretty prominent thing in my life right now. My prayer is that my hope in Christ would not waver based upon my circumstances, but would stay strong in my knowing Him. And of course, a heart which represents love because isn’t love the meaning of it all? God loves us so much that he sent his only son to earth to die for our sins, and he loves us enough to come back a second time and take us back to heaven to be with him forever.

i love weddings

*originally posted may 1st, 2009*

seriously, I am in love them. I was looking through pics this morning of weddings from this past summer, remembering how beautiful everyone looked and wishing I could go back in time and relive each one of them. something changed in my excitement for others after I got married. I was even more excited for my friends getting married because I knew what they were about to experience. it’s a day full of energy, excitement, a few tears, and just, well, life. it’s a day you don’t want to end because it’s just that amazing.
the funny thing about weddings though, is how much time we spend in preparation for the whole shebang. think about it! engagement, wedding, honeymoon. all those princess events we spend sometimes up to a year planning for, all for a day, a week. and then life hits. real life. let me tell you, it hits. and then the marriage, it’s real. and the relationship, the friendship, it’s tested and hopefully strengthened. so why isn’t the preparation time switched? we spend maybe a few hours in premarital counseling to prepare for a lifetime of a marriage, but hours upon hours (upon hours, etc, haha) preparing for a day? don’t get me wrong, I mean, I did it too. but when you think about it, isn’t it just a little twisted?
ok ok, all that to say, I am so excited for the weddings over this next year. so excited. (sidenote: I’m not sure how good I am at writing, because I’m having a difficult time coming up with other words to express my excitement other than “so excited”) So all of ya’ll that have a wedding in the near future, here’s my unsolicited advice to you *grin: Enjoy your engagement. seriously, be excited to get married, but don’t just wish that it was here tomorrow. most likely, you’ll never be a fiancé again, so soak it all in. Don’t let little details get your panties in a twist; keep the big picture in mind. in X amount of days, you’ll be married and that’s that. The brand of toilet paper in the restrooms is not going to matter. *grin Last piece of advice…enjoy your big day. most likely, it will fly by, so do your very best to soak every minute in, and take it slow!

trust. again.

*originally posted april 24th, 2009*

My computer won’t let me post anymore. Everytime I log in, safari shuts down. So I have a post that I wrote last Saturday (about weddings and marriage!), but I keep forgeting to send it to work so I can post it here. So for now, thoughts for today…
And God. I’m not really sure where I’m supposed to begin to describe how I feel about him right now, but I’ll do my best. He is holy, and I worship Him for that. He is loving, and I want to bask in that. He has always proved faithful and true, and I never ever want to forget that. But ya know, He’s also like the chess player that sees all the moves, and I’m that little piece that can’t see anything but the squares behind me. Yep, nothing but behind me. All sides and front views are blocked. I can’t see anything. I don’t know what the next step is, what the next move is, or how fast or slow we’re going to get there. But I have to trust and know that He has a purpose and a reason for everything. Everything. And looking at those squares behind me, as hard as it might be, is encouraging and uplifting, because every step along the way, He’s been there. (and then there’s those Footprints moments, where it’s only His footsteps, because He carried me).
So I really have no other choice than to trust Him and believe that He will continue walking with me going forward. Not that I literally have no choice. Plenty of people run from God during the hard times. But I can’t do that. Because all I’ve ever known and seen in my life and in the lives of those around me is a God who can be trusted. A God who cares and loves and will carry you on His shoulders every step of the way if that’s what needs to be done. I have to believe that. I just have to.
Even though I’m walking through the valley of the shadow,
I will hold tight to the hand of him whose love will comfort me.
And when all hope is gone and I’ve been wounded in the battle,
He is all the strength that I will ever need. He will carry me.
.markshultz.hewillcarryme.

new anger

*originally posted april 1st, 2009*

The last couple of days I’ve been, well, angry. I just can’t seem to get this out of my system. You know when it just itches at you, under your skin, through your mind, wrapped around every square inch of your being? Anybody know what I’m talking about? Even in the business of close, I just can’t shake this. Ugh. I don’t want to talk about it, I don’t want to think about it, I don’t want to keep dwelling on it. UGH.
The little ipod plugs in my ears are feeding my brain the following words:
When the world is falling out from under me,
I’ll be found in you still standing.
When the sky rolls up and mountians fall on their knees,
When time and space are through, I’ll be found in you.
You make all things new…
You make all things new…
You make all things new…
You make all things new…
Ps- can we sing it few more times so that that is what resonates in my head instead of the angry thoughts? Please Jesus, make it new. Please Jesus, give me peace. Please Jesus, help me.

to be found in him

*originally posted march 27th, 2009*

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ-the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.Philippians 3:7-11
I don’t know why, but over the last few weeks, I keep coming back these verses. The words are just so rich in my ears that every time I read it, it’s better and more powerful than the last time. And I just keep longing to be found in Him. Jesus, help me be found in YOU.I’m not really sure that I can better describe it than to use the words of another: (Shane and Shane, I want it All)
Use me, break me, waste me on you, Lord
Ruin me, take me, waste me on you.
For to die is to live….
To starve is to feast and less of me is more of Jesus
Lord I want it all, Lord I want it all
If I lose my life, I gain everything
At the cross away with all death’s sting,
Lord I want it all, Lord I want it all.
There is power in the blood, there is victory in Jesus
Come in power, wash me clean, overwhelm me with your presence.
There is power in the blood, there is victory in Jesus
There is glory in the cross, help me find my gain in loss…

rules and regulations

*originally posted march 10th, 2009*

There seems to be a wild movement stampeding through this generation that religion and doctrine are evil. Many claim the ever-so-famous line, ‘it’s not about religion, it’s about a relationship.’ (Before anyone gets too mad, I’ve said it too, and believe it!) And the crazy thing is, plenty a people hate religion and refuse to go to church for this very reason.
But I can’t help but wonder if the some of the people claiming these so-called truths are just looking for justifications for their lifestyle. Or perhaps some can’t come to grips with a God who would tell us not to do something that we might want to do. Heaven forbid a father try to protect his child from harm.
My personal take? There are reasons for rules, reasons for guidelines. Why is it that we don’t think twice about a parent that tells a child not to touch a hot stove? Or how about that double yellow line that runs down the middle of the road, protecting traffic from the danger of collision. Or what about the barbed wire gates around prisons, the ‘road closed ahead’ sign because a bridge is out, or even a concept as simple as password protection.
Why do we not even bat an eye at these rules or guidelines? Because their sole purpose is to protect us, keep us from danger and out of harm’s way, and we realize that. So then why do we cry and complain when God asks that we treat our bodies as temples, tithe 10% of our income, or control our tongue. The thing is, just because rules and regulations exist, doesn’t mean they stop us from touching the stove, swerving to the other side of the road, or proceeding through the closed road and falling off the bridge; it’s just that that’s when we get burned.
I guess my point in all of this is to say that doctrine–religious rules– aren’t completely horrible. I’ve been reading some Rob Bell, Velvet Elvis, and he has got me thinking!! I love how he puts this idea: Doctrine is a wonderful servant but a horrible master. If we live solely on these rules, this what can I do, this is what can’t I do, we’re missing the whole point, and to have it master our life will eventually end in disaster. These how-to guides, aka religion/doctrine, are supposed to point us in the direction of Jesus. They’re supposed to better show us how to model our life after him. I mean, that’s kind of the point, right? To live in harmony with Jesus, walking with Him and living in His love.
Here’s to striving for that every day…

month end close. ugh.

*originally psoted march 7th, 2009*

blessed to have a job, but soooo ready to move on. It’s Sautrday morning, and I’m getting ready to go to work. All day. Same thing tomorrow. What ever happened to that 8-5, 40 hour a week job? But I’m not complaining. Just, ummm, venting. *grin*
so the new “lifestyle” is going pretty well. Chris and I have been eating a ton healthier in the last month or so, pretty much eliminating fatty, starchy, super sugary food and replacing it with mainly fruit, vegetables, and whole grains (and chicken for Chris). Oh, and, we’ve been exercising for pretty much the first time since we’ve been married. For about the first seven months we were married, I could honestly probably count on one hand, no wait, make that two fingers, the numbers of times I exercised. Seriously. So needless to say, it feels a heck of a lot better to get into that routine and know that the foods I’m putting into my body are useful and serve a purpose. Then there’s nights like Thursday, where we both start craving ‘bad food’ as we call it, and we give in! Thursday night we had a feast of taco bell and pizza hut combined. Seriously, we sprawled it all out on the coffee table and just attacked it!!! But let me tell you, after eating such healthy, light, food for such a long time, the ‘bad food’ just sits so heavy!! So we’re learning, slowly but surely. I keep saying that if we don’t let ourselves ‘cheat’ every once in a while, this whole lifestyle is just going to turn into a diet, which we don’t want. Also can I say (last thing, I promise) that this is so much easier to do with someone else! Ok, ok, I’m done talking about nutrition and health and all that….
Well, I finished The Shack. Final verdict? A very powerful novel. If anyone has ever experienced heartbreak, loss, and has a long list of questions of why such a loving God would allow those things to happen, this is the book for them. It is an awesome visual of the relationship that the Trinity has, and to see the relationship that each wants with us. Here’s my main reservation: If you’ve heard anything about the book, you’ve probably heard that it’s about how much God loves us. verrrry true. God is love, everything about Him and about the way he acts. It’s all love. No denying that. But, here’s what I want us to remember. The God we serve is also a holy God who calls us to holy living. And honestly, the two can go hand-in-hand in a really beautiful way. Think about it, God loves us in such a way that basically all we can do is love him back. In our response of love, we want to serve him, glorify him, praise him for who he is and what he’s done in our live (picture: holiness).
All in all, a great book. My next one: Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell. (That is, if I can read the whole thing before it’s due back at the library)
Well people, work is calling. More later, hopefully soon.

change

*originally posted february 19th, 2009*

So many people talk about change like it’s a bad thing. For a lot of people, change is uncomfortable–it’s fearful. I really don’t think change is that bad. There’s been a lot of it here in my life recently, and hopefully more to come. I can honestly say that I hope I change for the rest of my life. I think to be in a certain ‘place’ for too long of a period makes a person become the wrong kind of content. Don’t read that the wrong way– I believe that one needs to be content in the Lord, trusting him and understanding his perfect peace. But to be content in the sense of not welcoming positive change, not striving for more, not wanting to become better, that’s where I think that content can be damaging. Even if it’s not an extreme change, such as moving or changing jobs, I always want to be changing–growing in my walk with Jesus, improving life, the relationships I have with people, my health, etc. There is a l w a y s something that can change and be better. Just some thoughts….
Waiting is such a difficult thing…anyone? It seems like no matter what kind of waiting– good or bad, how long or short, it’s hard. Are we not an incredibly impatient people? I wish so bad that we could step out of our own realm and see life on God’s time table. I love the picture Francis Chan gives in his book Crazy Love (a great book!). In the whole span of eternity, my life is like a 2/5 of a second clip in a movie–I’m that person walking on the street in the city and all that you can see is that back of my head. Yep, that short, if not shorter. So I think God knows what he’s doing, as hard as it may seem to wait. But doesn’t it make you just want to see the whole movie, and maybe then everything would make sense?
Oh the Joy of following Him. : )

and it's still dirty!

*originally posted february 16th, 2009*

Yesterday was bathroom-cleaning day. Not sure if any of you have tile showers, but man! They are a pain to clean! Over time, this nasty crud builds up in between all of the little squares, kind of like that gross pink toothpaste that the destist cleans your teeth with. Yuck. So I decided yesterday that I was done being disgusted by my own shower, and I would gently scrub it all away. HA. Easier said than done. Talk about a total body work out! I must have looked compeltely ridiculous, leaning in all sorts of directions, my body in all sorts of weird contortions, all while trying to hold my balance on the slippery surface. You gotta scrub that stuff hard! Mad props to my mother…I never knew it was this much work.
Anyways, nearly an hour later, I stepped back to marvel and muse over my work, only it wasn’t what I had hoped. The grime? Yeah, still there. As hard as I had worked, I just could not get it as clean as I wanted it. Maybe I had the bar set too high. I was hoping for a spotless tub, one that I could take a wonderful relaxing bath in, and not worry about the nasties creeping all around me.
Now this may sound super silly, like I’m overanalyzing it and just trying to God-ify it all, but I honestly could not stop thinking about much that shower resembles life– full of sin in every corner, every crack, and along every line. It’s no way to live. It leaves you empty, unsatisfied, and frankly, just disgusting. All of that, until we are washed clean by the blood of Jesus. Now I’m sure that had I brought in a professional to clean my shower, he could have cleaned it to the degree that I wanted and tonight I’d probably be going home to take a nice warm, relaxing bubble bath with candles and a good book. (Man, that sounds good!) But that’s just it. I, in my own strength and humanness, cannot cleanse my life of sin. You know how when you sin, you know you did, and you say you’ll never do it again? Then you try and try and try, but on your own, you’re just never going to get there. It is only only only by the blood of Jesus. Whew! Thank heavens for that! Can I get an amen??
If you know the freedom there is in what I’ve just described, I encourage you to take a minute and just breathe a prayer of thankfulness to your Savior. He is so worthy. Amen. Amen. Amen!

the shack

*originally posted february 15th, 2009*

I know that the people that like this book are in love with it—it’s the best book they’ve ever read. For others it rocks their theology. I’m only on chapter 10, so I don’t quite have a fair say yet. Something about it seems a little sketchy to me, but I’m trying to keep an open mind. On the other hand, there are definitely some powerful truths in it…
I have grown up knowing that when Jesus came to earth, he was fully God and also fully man. Seems like a mystery, but that’s just who he is. So when Jesus heals people, performs miracles, all those God-like acts, it’s because he’s God, right? I thought that until page 100 of this book. Here, this guy suggests that in Jesus choosing to be fully human, he limited himself, and that all the acts of God were a result of God living through him—the perfect relationship between man and God—an example to us all. Check this part out:
“So, when he healed the blind?”
“He did so as a dependent, limited human being trusting in my life (God) and power to be at work within him and through him…only as he rested in his relationship with me, and in our communion—our co-union—could he express my heart and will into any given circumstance.”
Wow! Sorry if that’s like, Bible 101 and everyone else knows that, but apparently I missed that part of Sunday School. I have never ever thought about God and Jesus having that type of relationship—the perfect relationship between God and man that I can set as a model for my own relationship with him. Wow.
A beautiful picture that I love from this book is the idea that our soul is like a garden, full of beautiful wildflowers, all tangled and woven together into what seems to us like a mess. But God sees it as a work of art—a work in progress. He sees from above how each plant that surrounds the others is an integral part of our life, how it fits together, and how he’s going to use it for his glory. Then in chapter nine, the main character and the character that represents the Holy Spirit work one morning to entirely tear up the particular garden that represents the man’s soul. They uproot everything…the deepest of roots, the plants that seems poisonous, even the beautiful, flowering plants. I love the parallel here. I remember a professor in college once telling our class that ‘brokenness is the key to growth.’ We have to go through times where we’re ripped to the core, where our plants are entirely uprooted, and it hurts, it doesn’t feel good. Sometimes we might wish that life would just leave us alone. But through it all, we grow in Christ so he can put us back together in his image. I don’t know about the rest of the world, but as much as it may hurt, I want him to do his work, because I want to be made more like him.
have a blessed day.

trust

*originally posted february 13th, 2009*

It’s vital to a right relationship with God. Over the last year or so, I’ve learned through the example of the Israelites that trust is basically all He wants from us. Time and time again, the Israelites would think that their way was better, or they’d get scared that God would not provide, and time and time again, He would prove to them that He is more than enough. It came to the point where I was honestly getting upset with these people. As an outsider looking in, I kept thinking, ‘Come on, y’all! Get with the program! Just trust Him!’
And now, however many thousands of years later, I find myself screaming that at myself. Now, I know that there are many people who just cruise through life on the safe side (See Francis Chan’s youtube video on balance beams), which basically requires no trust. Of course, we say we trust him, but the way we’re living, our actions, our situations and struggles, don’t really require much of it.
And then there are those situations that do—the times where pretty much all you have left is to trust Him. There is no other way. And these times of our lives stretch us. They make us stronger in Him. They make us fall more in love with Him, because we realize that He is our truest source of strength. As hard as these times may be, when we get through them, we look back and are incredibly grateful for it all.
We almost had one of those times. This morning, our world could have been turned around. It would have been one of those things that was so much of the Lord, it had to be His will, because it sure wouldn’t have been ours. But ya know, it didn’t happen that way. Life is going on ‘as planned.’ At least our human plans. But I was thinking as I was driving to work, praising God that our plan was still in tact…a part of me wishes, for the sake of the matter of trust, that God would have totally rocked our world. Because I want to have the same kind of trust today that would have been required had God given me an outcome not of my plan. I want to strive to live my whole life in that way.

in the beginning

*originally posted february 13th, 2009*

Today starts the beginning. The beginning of my world of blogging. To be honest, I’m not quite sure where this will go, how long I’ll stick with it, or how often I’ll post. I’ve just been thinking about it lately, so I thought I’d give it a whirl. May sound lame, but I’m going to start with my 25 things, currently published on facebook.
25 things about me
1 I am a very right-brained person, or whatever it means to be organized, good at math, you know, all that nerdy stuff.
2 I am an accountant, but the more I’m in the workplace, the more I realize my true calling to be a stay-at-home mom and wife.
3 I married my best friend in the whole wide world. We share everything with each other and can completely be ourselves in front of the other. It’s my goal to be able to say the same thing 30 years from now.
4 I love to sing, and I used to play the piano. Even as I type “used to”, it makes me sad. I know that I need to pick it back up again, it’s just really hard.
5 Scrapbooking is a hobby of mine, although I’m really behind right now. I’m currently scrapbooking my fall semester of my senior year (over a year ago!)
6 I love engagements, weddings, and marriage! This is so embarrassing, but I’m always checking facebook for newly engaged and newly married couples. I just love it!
7 I have a bunny that I’ve had since I was about 3 that I used to sleep with until the night before my wedding. He’s basically an old rag now, but full of love. haha
8 I love coffee. I’ve tried to give it up twice now, and I’ve failed. But I’ve come to somewhat of a compromise—not drinking it every single morning (I don’t want to be dependant on it), and only drinking it to truly ‘enjoy’ a cup of coffee. 8 a Someday I’m going to get my husband to like coffee
9 Random thought: In high school, there was a semester where Chris worked at Tim Horton’s in Dublin, and probably once a week, my friend Leah and I would go get breakfast before school, just so that I could see him.
10 Speaking of Leah (I think this kind of shows the kind of person I am): I used to ask Leah about every six months if I could help her clean her room. Yes, clean her room. Loser, right? I won’t be offended if you call me that.
11 I really like to read, but sometimes struggle to find the time. My list of books to read is far too long, not to mention there’s books I’d like to re-read. Ugh. Why is life so short?
12 I sing in the car. Loudly. I’m that person that’s sitting at the stop-light singing her heart out without a care in the world who sees me or how ridiculous I look.
13 I love dates at the bookstore with my husband.
14 I love my family, close and extended. The older I get, the more I realize how important they are to me and how much I love and care about them. 14 a My aunts are my heroes. When I grow up, I want to be just like them. I look up to them more than words can describe. They have taught me so much about love, humility, grace, and the kind of mother I want to be someday.
15 I love my friends and miss them so much. I’m the type that would rather have few quality friends than a large quantity.
16 I have a bad habit of picking things, whether it’s my nail polish, fingernails, toenails, scabs (gross, I know). It’s just a bad habit that I’ve been trying to break my whole life. ugh.
17 I love Ohio State football. Like any other fan, I bleed scarlet and gray.
18 Full House was my favorite show growing up. I want to own every single season by the time I have kids so that they can watch a good, wholesome show (corny and cheesy, but so what)
19 Before I die, I want to go to a beach where the sand is white and the water is perfectly clear. oh, and turquoise.
20 I hate snow. If I went the rest of my life without seeing it, I’d be perfectly ok.
21 I don’t really like to take medicine. When I have a headache, I usually try to tough it out. Same with colds, but Chris prefers I take medicine, so sometimes I do just for him.
22 I’m a huge fan of America. Most of the time when I hear the national anthem, I tear up. No joke.
23 I have the worst poker face in the world. I basically wear my emotions on my sleeve….can’t really hide much!
24 I love Jesus with all my heart. There is nothing better than to be in His presence. I can say with absolute conviction that choosing to follow him is the best and most important decision I’ve ever made.
25 I had to type all of this in a word document and look over it for several days before I posted it. It’s just who I am *grin*

day 1

i've decided to make the switch to blogger. i think i'll like it a little better and be able to do a little more than on wordpress. once i learn, that is, haha. but for now, since i don't have all that many posts on wordpress, i'm going to repost my old posts here! call me crazy, but i kinda like them. *grin*